New York City (motto: “Hey, I’m From New York!”) is the largest city in the United States, a bustling metropolitan area of eight million souls, and more than twice that number of actual people. While all New Yorkers are united in their desire to tell everyone that they are from New York, they may for simplicity’s sake be divided into two groups: People from the outer boroughs who want to become successful enough to get a place in Manhattan, and people in Manhattan who want to become successful enough to get a place out somewhere nice. This being said, New York is home to people from cultures all over the world, and also actual space aliens, who landed in Central Park in 2005 and are still waiting to see the Mayor. New York is the home of the United Nations, where diplomats of all nations come together to park wherever the hell they want to. New York has many nicknames, including “The Big Apple” (the result of an ill-advised sponsorship agreement with the computer manufacturer), “The Naked City” (New York insists that the incident has been expunged from its record) and “The City That Never Sleeps” (but New York says that its doctor will get the dosage right any day now).
New York is home to more major professional sports teams than any other American city. The teams in the metropolitan area include the New York Yankees of Major League Baseball, the Knicks and Nets of the NBA, the Giants and Jets of the NFL, and three hockey teams. The city’s relative lack of large open space has put limits on the growth of many amateur sports, but a thriving street and playground basketball scene offers many opportunities to get shot.
New Yorkers are justly proud of their local cuisine, with the exception of the restaurants people actually go to, which are “all touristy”. Cooking styles from all over the world are known in New York, and the city is proud that even regional delicacies may be purchased at any time, day and night, except for the hours of 11 AM-1 PM and 5 PM-8 PM, when you can’t get a table. Most New Yorkers now subsist entirely on delivery food.
New York’s economy was recently devastated by the 1-2 punch of the mortgage crisis, which badly damaged the city’s financial sector, and the cancellation of the original Law & Order, leaving the city with only two versions of the franchise, down from a high of 17 in 2004. Also hurting is Broadway, as people have come to realize that they might have better things to spend $300 on than a pair of tickets to see someone singing about being a French peasant for two hours.
Popular hobbies in New York include spitting, pooper-scooping, waiting “on line”, making fun of tourists, and ignoring the world around you. The official animal of New York City is the Giant New York Rat, justly beloved for its efforts to keep the population of New Yorkers under control.