Braves Journal, The House That Mac Built

Scarred, but smarter.

01 Apr

Randall Simon Game Thread

The Milwaukee Brewers moved to the National League in 1998, and there haven’t been a whole lot of memorable moments for the franchise since then. Perhaps the most memorable of all came in 2003, courtesy of a former Brave, Randall Simon:

Disclaimer: Braves Journal does not endorse swinging bats at mascots.

105 Responses to “Randall Simon Game Thread”

  1. 1
    Sam Hutcheson Says:

    Four hours after the event = “Breaking News.” The obligatory “no one’s laughing now” lede. The faux seriousness of Randall Simon being “interviewed” for possible “assault.”

    Don’t ever change hackeneyed local newscasts. Don’t ever change.

  2. 2
    Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) Says:

    Of course, judging by yesterday, no Brewer mascot has anything to fear from anyone on the Braves.

  3. 3
    ububba Says:

    Not to say that I’m essentially opposed to assaulting mascots, but I always preferred Bernie Brewer to the racing sausages. Any mascot wearing lederhosen wins me over every time.

  4. 4
    Seat Painter Says:

    I don’t know Alex, I’ve seen Uggla toss his bat into the stands way too many times on his follow through.

  5. 5
    Dusty Says:

    Today’s lineup is the same as yesterday, why mess with what’s working I guess? I know it’s incredibly early and I get why Fredi’s doing it (though I don’t agree with it), but if I have to see BUpton come up in a big spot too many times this April I may lose it.

  6. 6
    Rob Cope Says:

    Game 2.

    Game 2.


  7. 7
    td Says:

    So I’m thinking that this is a must win game. I think a loss and the resulting negaitve momentum could cost us at least two places in the standings at the end of the year. Anyone else have the same feeling? In other words, if we lose, we’re dooooooooooooooooomed!!!!

  8. 8
    Sam Hutcheson Says:

    If BJ and Uggla get 5 hits or so between them, the team scores 4 and they lose, it’s not a bad day per se. It’s a bad day, yes. Losing is bad. But the big deal is getting BJ Upton away from the black hole that lurks beneath his feet if he starts slow.

  9. 9
    Sam Hutcheson Says:

    As for mascots, my favorite was when Randall Simon snuck out and broke Don Baylor’s leg.

  10. 10
    Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) Says:

    Ian Thomas wasn’t great yesterday. But he has a pretty good story. Welcome to the show, kid.

  11. 11
    Dan Says:

    Wait, there is a game today? I had just assumed that today would be the obligatory day-off-after-game-one thing.

  12. 12
    Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) Says:

    8:10 pm!

  13. 13
    timo Says:

    @10, thanks for sharing, Alex. Good story indeed. I hope he can stick.

  14. 14
    Grst Says:

    It’s never too early for hysterics, I guess.

  15. 15
    Brian J. Says:

    14- How about now? Can we get hysterical now?

  16. 16
    krussell Says:

    0-162 looking more and more likely.

  17. 17
    jjschiller Says:

    Wood is telegraphing his offspeed stuff. Slowing his arm down.

  18. 18
    Chief Nocahoma Says:

    0-162 or 1-161?

  19. 19
    urlhix Says:

    And Joe is already hat tipping. What is wrong with people?

  20. 20
    urlhix Says:

    Liquid Tomahawk is my new favorite band name.

  21. 21
    jjschiller Says:


    We’re batting a thousand the second time through the order.

  22. 22
    jjschiller Says:

    And now we’re not..

  23. 23
    Putter Says:

    BJ… Geez. He may have even regressed from last year. Let’s keep batting him second, or better yet, lead off

  24. 24
    Smitty Says:

    BJ is lost

  25. 25
    kc Says:

    I am not even watching the game and I feel our offense is very hopeless already…

  26. 26
    krussell Says:

    Wait a minute, Regression is hitting cleanup? How did I miss this? I mean not that it matters much, but that’s not what I’d have expected.

  27. 27
    csg Says:

    What the crap was that??!? He was out by 10 yards

  28. 28
    Nick Says:

    The new third-base coach has some jitters, apparently…I mean, God!

  29. 29
    Dwight Lowie Says:

    I thought Snitker wasn’t coaching 3b anymore?

  30. 30
    Our New Insect Overlords Says:

    Bring back Snitker!

  31. 31
    Anon21 Says:

    Who’s the third base coach now? That is not a real auspicious way to start your major-league coaching career.

  32. 32
    krussell Says:

    That might have been our best chance to score this season.

  33. 33
    MaverickJB Says:

    Is this real?? Well I guess the way the offense is hitting that’s the only way to score.

  34. 34
    jjschiller Says:

    So Doug Dascenzo can f@% right off.

  35. 35
    Smitty Says:


  36. 36
    Askia Says:

    That was awful. I’m speechless about how bad that decision was.

  37. 37
    braves14 Says:

    I miss Snitker.

  38. 38
    oldtimer? Says:

    When did Snitker come back?

  39. 39
    ububba Says:

    Jeez. It’s not like Freddie will ever be confused with Usain Bolt.

  40. 40
    csg Says:

    At least Uggla is squaring up a few.

  41. 41
    Nick Says:


    Usain Bolt would’ve been out by 10 feet on that.

  42. 42
    csg Says:

    Segura really didnt even make a strong throw either. Freddie was even in the picture when the catcher caught it. Worst 3b coaching decision I’ve ever seen. Snitker didn’t sniff that one.

  43. 43
    DowneasterJC Says:

    I think Chip Caray has better depth perception than Dascenzo.

  44. 44
    Nick Says:

    The shortstop literally had the ball in position to throw as Freedie was rounding third base. Mike freaking Piazza would’ve thrown him out from the shortstop position on that.

  45. 45
    Smitty Says:

    Freeman rounds second…here’s the throw to the plate…Freenans getting the green light

  46. 46
    jjschiller Says:

    I can’t believe there’s a worse bunting team than ours. The whole staff looks pathetic.

  47. 47
    jjschiller Says:


  48. 48
    jjschiller Says:


  49. 49
    Brian J. Says:


    You’ll need to hit a couple hundred more of those for this offense to be respectable, though.

  50. 50
    urlhix Says:


  51. 51
    krugerindustrialsmoothing Says:

    what was that! he hit that ball out of the park! is that even allowed?

  52. 52
    braves14 Says:

    Runs? What are those, pray tell?

  53. 53
    krussell Says:

    Well there’s your runs Mr. Wood, that’s probably all you’ll get so time to bear down.

  54. 54
    Nick Says:

    Thankfully that’s the last we’ll have to hear from krussell and Chief about how we’re not going to score a run all year.

  55. 55
    Smitty Says:

    2-1 JHey

  56. 56
    ububba Says:

    Oh yeah, we’re supposed to hit HRs. Way to go, Jason.

  57. 57
    urlhix Says:

    Wood is still jittery.

  58. 58
    Nick Says:

    By the way, would it be possible to try and keep those types of posts (the ones mentioned @54) down to like one a game for each of you or something? I promise I’ll seriously consider offing myself every time we strike out if it’ll help.

  59. 59
    Nick Says:

    Runs all over the place!!!

  60. 60
    jjschiller Says:

    Okay! That’s what we’re looking for!

  61. 61
    urlhix Says:

    So sweet.

  62. 62
    ububba Says:

    Just like that, again.

  63. 63
    JonathanF Says:

    Dascenzo was trying to hold Freddie at 3rd on that homer… he trotted through the stop sign.

  64. 64
    kc Says:

    Wow, got away for a moment when we scored. Maybe I should not follow the game after all.

  65. 65
    Nick Says:


    Well played, sir.

  66. 66
    ububba Says:

    He doesn’t have a lot to show for it, but Uggnutz is really slaughtering the ball right now.

    BTW, McCann just got his first AL RBI.

  67. 67
    csg Says:


  68. 68
    jjschiller Says:

    Hey, Evan Gattis put a ball in play.

  69. 69
    Brian J. Says:

    Alex has settled down very nicely.

  70. 70
    Smitty Says:

    Still talking about Francoeur? That’s like 4 RFs ago. They remember him like he was Hank Aaron. Hey Jeff, how’s El Passo?

  71. 71
    urlhix Says:

    Yes, he did. Looked relaxed.

  72. 72
    Nick Says:

    Forgive my ignorance, but I didn’t pay attention to spring training at all. Is Carpenter still our theoretical setup guy or did Walden get it back from him?

  73. 73
    ububba Says:

    Great effort, Mr. Wood.

  74. 74
    RJ in KS Says:


  75. 75
    Nick Says:


  76. 76
    urlhix Says:

    Freddie mad.

  77. 77
    Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) Says:

    He is a free man.

  78. 78
    ububba Says:

    Boom boom!

  79. 79
    Brian J. Says:

    No regression, not yet.

  80. 80
    jjschiller Says:

    I think the number one, single stupidest reason to bat BJ Upton second is this: It is the ONLY mismatch opportunity we’re going to get with this lineup. The only lefties we have in the lineup bat 1 and 3. After a LOOGY gets through Freeman, it’s all righties.

    So why waste the only booby-trap in your lineup on a guy who sucks?

  81. 81
    urlhix Says:

    The company line is you can’t argue with the results tonight, right?

  82. 82
    ububba Says:

    Well, we need him not to suck.

  83. 83
    Brian J. Says:

    81- Wait six outs, then say that.

  84. 84
    urlhix Says:

    Gomez is another batlicker.

  85. 85
    Nick Says:

    Carpenter it is, I guess.

  86. 86
    Our New Insect Overlords Says:

    Gonna be a long time before I stop getting the shakes when Carpenter comes into the game.

  87. 87
    urlhix Says:

    Glad he got to wipe off some of the stench of his tears. Let’s win this.

  88. 88
    Brian J. Says:

    Nice to see Dan’s line drives falling in. I’m sure he’ll hit a little better now that he’s not looking at that .167 average every day.

  89. 89
    urlhix Says:

    Like that calm stance from Uggla.

  90. 90
    Nick Says:

    Good hitting by Simmons there.

  91. 91
    jjschiller Says:

    Craig’s slider has just been garbage so far. No feel for it at all.

  92. 92
    Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) Says:

    I think you can argue with the process if you like, but to paraphrase Manuel Maloof, anybody don’t like this score is crazy.

  93. 93
    Brian J. Says:

    91- Only a 100% strikeout rate. He’ll need to work on that.

    161-1 awaits!

  94. 94
    Nick Says:

    Nice! Always good to see your first Kimbrel 1-2-3 inning in almost six months!

  95. 95
    Rissa Says:

    Ho hum. Kimbrel strikes out the side. Nothing new here.

  96. 96
    Nick Says:

    And we’re now rid of the 0-162 posts, as well.

  97. 97
    fm Says:

    Heyward is well on his way to accumulating that 32-WAR season.

  98. 98
    jjschiller Says:

    @93 – Show me the inaccuracy in what I said. He threw 4 breaking balls, and three bounced in front of the plate, one behind it.

  99. 99
    urlhix Says:

    Not doomed. Which would be an awesome black metal band name.

  100. 100
    ububba Says:

    Pitching & HRs, seems familiar.

  101. 101
    td Says:

    We will look back on this win at the end of the year and say this is when we turned the season around. (-;

  102. 102
    kc Says:

    @100 And plenty of Ks.

  103. 103
    Nick Says:


    For the record, you’re right. Kimbrel’s slider was garbage today. He threw it three times and brained some poor guy in the front row with two of them. Didn’t matter today, though, because no one could catch up to his fastball. That happens to him occasionally, though, I’m sure he’ll get it worked out.

  104. 104
    Edward Says:


    maybe even 33. I lowballed him way back when.

  105. 105
    Alex Remington (Another Alex R.) Says:


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