I asked Alex if I could have the Mat Gamel write up. I love marginal players like this. They amuse me. They open themselves up to a bit more than a straight “what to expect from them statistically” bit. It’s the same reason I picked Gerald Laird last year. You can get creative with marginal guys. You can spin them into stories. I love stories.
I had an outline for a really great spin on Mat Gamel. I was going to go into how he was not actually human, but the main character from Paul Wegener’s “The Golem,” enduring the endless existence of an unliving, undead, misunderstood monster. I was going to cross ref Mary Shelley and an episode or two of “Supernatural.” It was going to be awesome. But then my ethnic based comedy bits test marketed poorly. And now? I got nothing. Just…nothing. Mat Gamel. Anyone?
Good signing. Low risk, high reward minor league 3B caddy in case Regression regresses. Once premier prospect stick out of the Brewers organization who got derailed by a sequence of knee injuries before he ever really got started. If he puts it back together Atlanta gets a real player for pennies on the dollar. If he doesn’t? Gwinnett needs warm bodies. Mat Gamel is not, for the record, a half-living claymation monster fighting Nazi necromancers. Sigh. Turns out, Mat Gamel isn’t even Jewish. “Gamel” isn’t even Hebrew. Best I can tell, it’s actually a variant of an Old French/Occitan word meaning “oatmeal.” Great. Mat Gamel is apparently this guy.
Double existential put-upon disconsolate sigh. At least if Mat Gamel makes the 2014 squad we can call him The Oatmeal. I’ll take what I can get. The golem bit was going to be hilarious.