I don’t know what to do any more. I think I’m in the fourth stage of grief (1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance) over the 2014 Braves, otherwise known as the “Buddy Carlyle phase.”
Here is a short list of things that you have my personal permission to do tonight, other than watch the Braves:
1. Stare off into space aimlessly
2. Rearrange the books on your shelf into alphabetical order by title
3. Re-watch the first three seasons of Homicide: Life on the Street
4. Shave the zest of a lemon, then put it into a bowl on your kitchen counter, then say, “The hell with it,” and pour yourself a glass of Bulleit
5. Rearrange the books you already rearranged so that they’re alphabetical by author
6. Listen to the new Bob Mould album, which is good but is only about a half hour long, six times in a row
7. Go to the Vortex and order a beer and the cheese dip. Eat it slowly. Then order the cheesy crab dumplings and another beer. Then maybe another one.
8. Rearrange the other stuff that’s on your bookshelves so that it makes some kind of sense around all of the books that you rearranged.
9. Swear. Profusely.
Of course, if you get done early, you can always tune back in!