And I wish there was an easier way to say it. The surgeons were unable to operate on Tuesday, because scans showed the regrowth of tumors that had been removed in July. From all appearances, the remaining cancer has entered a virulent stage. It is not likely to kill me directly; instead it will decrease the effectiveness of my organs by taking away the space they need to operate. The time frame is unclear, but basically I was told that the best measure if they don’t find a treatment is months rather than years.
We’re not giving up. We are, if we can, going to talk to the doctor in Indianapolis with whom I talked last year, and see if he has any ideas. There is a protocol in trials in Philadelphia which looks promising and applicable to my case. And dammit, a lot of people (including a great-uncle of mine) have lived for a long time with cancer hanging over them. Maybe it’s just the drugs talking, but I don’t expect to go any time soon. I fully expect to celebrate when the Braves lift the 2012 World Series trophy over their heads.
That said, I am preparing, and I have talked with Stu and the Alexes. More than anything — well, other than getting to tell bill collectors to take it up with my estate — I want to make sure that this place stays open, because it’s my legacy and I’m damned proud of it. There will be some changes, but we go on. I’ll be with you in some form, I promise.