Category: Putative Humor

Open Threads · Putative Humor

WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS – ATLANTA BRAVES (by MikeM)

Posted on by Alex Remington (Another Alex R.)
Disclaimer to this post. Everything below is a blatant ripoff of Drew Magary’s fine work at Deadspin in his annual Why Your Team Sucks NFL preview. He invented this format that I am stealing, in which he insults the team as much as possible before conceding that they might be okay this year. He is a professional writer and very…

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Putative Humor

Braves Panicked After League Says They Must Field a Major League Team in 2016

Posted on by 'Rissa

November 15, 2015
VOL 72 ISSUE 45
Sports · Local

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Braves General Manager John Coppolella was informed six weeks into his new job that he is expected to field a major league team in 2016.

ATLANTA, GA—Braves officials were taken by surprise earlier this afternoon when a league official informed the team…

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Putative Humor · Recaps 2015

Waiting For Fredot

Posted on by Seat Painter

WAITING FOR FREDOT

Camerogon: (Is sitting on second base, struggling with his cleats)

Markakimir (enters). “Ah, there you are!”

Camerogon. Yes. As I have been since I don’t know…

Markakimir: New York?

Camerogon: Yes, I suppose.

Markakimir: May one inquire where Your Mightiness spent the night?

Camerogon: On second. I’m waiting…

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Decisions · Precaps · Putative Humor

Not That We Care: a guide to the playoffs, part 3

Posted on by Sam Hutcheson

Life is hard.

Oh, sure, it’s easy to say “we should go kill the the Nazis!” I mean, Captain America was made to kill Nazis, right? But then you end up in this place where you have to be like, “ah, nah man; Stalin’s a totes bro. He just gets a lot of bad press from the haterz.” And then Josef’s…

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Game Threads 2013 · Putative Humor

Joe Simpson’s New Play by Play Partner Game Thread, May 25 (by JonathanF)

Posted on by Alex Remington (Another Alex R.)

Annals of Sports Journalism

The following is the transcript of an aborted experiment in which Fox Sports attempted to expand its ratings in the Moneyball demographic. We’ll never know whether or not it would have worked, or indeed whether or not there is a Moneyball demographic. Too bad. In any case, for one untelevised game, Fox paired Joe Simpson with Magnus Saberhead,…

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Player Analysis · Putative Humor

Because you’d hate to have two games in a row to start the season…

Posted on by Sam Hutcheson

So, there’s no Braves baseball game today, because Selig. Which means there will be no “game thread” per se today. So, in lieu of that, here’s a link to the inaugural episode of the new Braves podcast that Alan Honeycutt and I are doing. We call it “The Circle Change” and we curse, overhype Evan Gattis and talk about peyote and Dan Uggla’s…

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Putative Humor

HANK STEINBRENNER BUYS METS

Posted on by Mac Thomason

After a purchase by Kansas City Royals outfielder Jeff Francoeur fell through due to Francoeur’s inability to determine where the lines for his signature were, New York Mets owners the Wilpon family have agreed to sell a majority stake in the team immediately to New York Yankees co-owner and Senior Vice President Henry G. “Hank” Steinbrenner. Terms were undisclosed but were expected to…

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Commentary · Putative Humor · Site News

We have a winner, of sorts

Posted on by Mac Thomason

Our 2011 Braves Journal Whipping Boy will be — to start with — Alex Gonzalez! No, not Alex Gonzalez, Alex Gonzalez!

LOSER

AAG outpolled Nate McLouth 99-92. He will hold the Whipping Boy title until we get totally fed up with George Sherrill. New poll.