Braves Journal, The House That Mac Built

Scarred, but smarter.

Archive for the 'Putative Humor' Category

01 Mar


Disclaimer to this post. Everything below is a blatant ripoff of Drew Magary’s fine work at Deadspin in his annual Why Your Team Sucks NFL preview. He invented this format that I am stealing, in which he insults the team as much as possible before conceding that they might be okay this year. He is a […]

15 Nov

Braves Panicked After League Says They Must Field a Major League Team in 2016

November 15, 2015 VOL 72 ISSUE 45 Sports · Local ATLANTA, GA—Braves officials were taken by surprise earlier this afternoon when a league official informed the team they have a major league schedule they will be expected to play out in 2016. “This comes as a surprise to us,” Braves General Manager John Coppolella admitted. “We […]

25 Jul

Waiting For Fredot

WAITING FOR FREDOT Camerogon: (Is sitting on second base, struggling with his cleats) Markakimir (enters). “Ah, there you are!” Camerogon. Yes. As I have been since I don’t know… Markakimir: New York? Camerogon: Yes, I suppose. Markakimir: May one inquire where Your Mightiness spent the night? Camerogon: On second. I’m waiting on Fredot to drive […]

03 Oct

Not That We Care: a guide to the playoffs, part 3

Life is hard. Oh, sure, it’s easy to say “we should go kill the the Nazis!” I mean, Captain America was made to kill Nazis, right? But then you end up in this place where you have to be like, “ah, nah man; Stalin’s a totes bro. He just gets a lot of bad press from […]

18 Jan

El Oso Blanco (by Smitty)

Evan Gattis is not just a great baseball player. He is the greatest human being ever. 1845: El Oso Blanco publishes the rules of baseball. 1879: Assists Thomas Edison in inventing the light bulb. 1903: After years of attempting to launch the first airplane, the Wright Brothers contact Gattis, who promptly throws the plane from […]

26 May

Joe Simpson’s New Play by Play Partner Game Thread, May 25 (by JonathanF)

Annals of Sports Journalism The following is the transcript of an aborted experiment in which Fox Sports attempted to expand its ratings in the Moneyball demographic. We’ll never know whether or not it would have worked, or indeed whether or not there is a Moneyball demographic. Too bad. In any case, for one untelevised game, […]

02 Apr

Because you’d hate to have two games in a row to start the season…

So, there’s no Braves baseball game today, because Selig. Which means there will be no “game thread” per se today. So, in lieu of that, here’s a link to the inaugural episode of the new Braves podcast that Alan Honeycutt and I are doing. We call it “The Circle Change” and we curse, overhype Evan […]

14 Oct


Sent by an eagle-eyed reader. A picture is worth a thousand words.

01 Apr


After a purchase by Kansas City Royals outfielder Jeff Francoeur fell through due to Francoeur’s inability to determine where the lines for his signature were, New York Mets owners the Wilpon family have agreed to sell a majority stake in the team immediately to New York Yankees co-owner and Senior Vice President Henry G. “Hank” […]

21 Mar

We have a winner, of sorts

Our 2011 Braves Journal Whipping Boy will be — to start with — Alex Gonzalez! No, not Alex Gonzalez, Alex Gonzalez! AAG outpolled Nate McLouth 99-92. He will hold the Whipping Boy title until we get totally fed up with George Sherrill. New poll.

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