Braves Journal, The House That Mac Built

Scarred, but smarter.

Archive for the 'Melky Is Fat' Category

09 Jul

Braves 11, White Sox 8 (No that’s NOT an extra 1 in the Braves score)

The Braces’ Windy City Weirdness continued to be strong last night, as they absolutely lit up the ace of the White Sox, Chris Sale, and took the opener of the three game series 11-8. Freddie Freeman opened with a two out home run in the top of the first, which the Sox matched in the […]

05 Oct

Not That We Care: a guide to the playoffs, part 4

While we don’t want to take our eye off of the ball with regard to this … I think we can take the travel day back to San Francisco to remind everyone of this… As for the junior circuit, I honestly have no dog in either of those fights, but I will make a few […]

17 Dec

Live! From Kansas City!

ANNOUNCER: From Kansas City, it’s the Jeff Francoeur show, starring Jeff Francoeur! I’m your announcer, Melky Cabrera, and tonight, Jeff’s guests are: Miley Cyrus! Verne Troyer! And The Baseball Project! And now, stand and cheer, here’s Jeffy! [AUDIENCE GIVES FIVE MINUTE STANDING OVATION] Jeff Francoeur: Thanks, thanks everybody. I know I deserve it, but it’s […]

19 Oct

Goodbye Melky!

Braves release Saito, Cabrera | Atlanta Braves. Presumably he’ll be drowning his sorrows in milkshakes. The Braves didn’t have to make a decision on him yet (unlike Saito, whose contract stipulated his release) but they just couldn’t wait to get rid of Melky.

12 Oct

Where Do We Go From Here 2010.1: What About the Offense?

Leaving aside the managerial question — which everybody seems to think is basically settled anyway — the Braves have some decisions to make. Let’s start out by defining what we know. We can be pretty certain that: Brian McCann will be the catcher; David Ross will be his backup; And Jason Heyward will be in […]

11 Oct

Giants 3, Braves 2

San Francisco Giants vs. Atlanta Braves – Box Score – October 11, 2010 – ESPN. And so it ends. It figures that the season would come down to (1) Bobby going a batter too long with Derek Lowe, and (2) Melky making the last out on a weak groundout to third with the tying and […]

07 Oct

What I want

I want to go to the World Series. Against the Yankees. Not just because I want to go to the World Series, but because I’d want to see game three, when all the Yankee fans gasp in horror at what they see when Melky waddles out onto the field. Game thread.

05 Oct

Melky, Bête Noire

I have realized that Melky Cabrera has, in one short season, reached a standard previously only reached by Dan Kolb and Jeff Francoeur. He has moved beyond Whipping Boy status to become the official Braves Journal Bête Noire. This means that insults and jokes about this player may pop up in any circumstance, no matter […]

04 Oct

San Francisco Giant facts

The Giants were originally stationed in New York, but were ejected in 1957 for lewd behavior and disgusting personal habits. While Tim Lincecum is a well-known pothead, in fact all of the Giants’ starting pitchers are drug users. Barry Zito eats peyote, Matt Cain uses oxycontin, and Jonathan Sanchez drinks a bottle of Robitussin before […]

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